Maria Haukaas Storeng will represent Norway in this year's Eurovision contest with "Hold On, Be Strong," which goes awry right away: "Love can be hard sometimes/Yes, it can catch you off-guard like bad crimes." This might be the worst Eurovision lyric ever that doesn't involve nonsense words.
The two Finnish hosts are generally presenting in English. They say "Hello" in the most adorable way. And they say "Hello" a lot. Fortunately, they only pop up every few songs. Most of the time between songs is spent on the travelogues.
Imagine if Linda Evans were offered the lead in the Baywatch movie RIGHT NOW, and you can imagine how embarrassing it is for Norway's Guri Schanke to be singing a Latin pop number.
She magically changes outfits three times during this number, by the way. Damn your influence, Koldun!
She also is visibly and audibly out of breath when the song is done. Perhaps she's too old for this shit?
Guri Schanki - "Ven a Bailar Conmigo"
Why is Norway entering Eurovision with a song that belongs in a Venezuelan beauty pageant? Bring on Miss Carabobo!
Guri Schanke: "Ven A Bailar Conmigo"
What the hell? I honestly wasn't expecting this to sound like a Latin American pop song. Seriously, does Guri look like she would be singing a Latin American pop song? Yikes.
Christine is impossibly cute. She has three back-up singers and two "violin players", who "play" like they've never touched a violin before. The song has a modern Celtic feel to it. You know, the type of Celtic music you see on PBS pledge drives. Mediocre. The song title translates to "elf dance," by the way. (I'm assuming. It looks like it would translate to "elf dance.")
