Finland may have finally figured out that heavy metal alone does not win Eurovision. I present Waldo's People and "Lose Control."
I don't know if it's a good idea to get all Real McCoy here, but at least it's not another Lordi retread without the theatrics.
I have a strange feeling that just as Sweden has still never really gotten over ABBA's Eurovision win, Finland is never really going to get over Lordi's win. Teräsbetoni's "Missä Miehet Ratsastaa" is generic heavy metal at its Manowar-finest. It's barely better than Kabát's "Malá Dáma."
Notes taken during the show but not posted...
1. Bosnia & Herzogovena
Natalie Portman isn't known for her singing. Dressed like a chartreuse ballerina, and I don't know why she has on her hand a giant postage stamp with a grasshopper in it. But, hey, at least all the dry ice means I don't have to see how she's dressed anymore. The backup singers are white figure pottery.
Started rough at first - but got bettter as the song went on. Boring song - closing credits to a Bond film.
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2. Spain
Well, now the competition begins, and Spain comes on with a high energy performance. All dressed in white, they look like 98 degrees. Probably could've won 5 years ago - except it's not 5 years ago. Tight, though cheesy choreo. I HEART YOU MI VIDA E A O. Huh?
Plus, there's a giant rotating triangle on the lights. Shameless plug to the gay contingent. But it sounded like it got a good reception.
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3. Belarus, again 3rd up.
Aw, he's so dreamy. And the rock pose, feet planted 4 feet apart from them is so very well rehearsed. Seems to me he could take a lesson from Darren Romeo, at least is able to sing in tune and do his magic moves at the same time. Dunno about this one, I picked him to do well, but... it feels a little safe to me.
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4. Ireland
Oh, god, Ireland - this is gonna be death. Man, she is really flat... terrible. Kill me now.
She sits on every note. Like a fat woman crushing a big tuffet and her ass cheeks are hanging over. Like when a square is sat on and becomes a trapezoid.
Giving the mp3 isn't going to help them get votes with as crappy a performance as this. And whipping out the bodhran isn't going to help either. I stand by my haiku.
England may have competition for 0 points this year.
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5. Finland
She's stolen Slovenia's outfit.
Feed issues - but I don't really feel I've missed much.
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6. FYR Macedonia
She's in better voice tonight. Impressively, at one point she's lifted up by a dancer and doesn't miss a note. She looks comfortable up there.
Doesn't change the fact the song isn't good. But if performances were the only thing that got them into the top 10, she's in.
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7. Slovenia
This song is like an Olympic theme, I can see the torch being lit... no, wait, that's just her hand.
The crowd loves her, especially when she goes into opera voice. Some pitchy with some pretty simple intervals, but overall pretty strong performance. Big voice, and it works well in a big arena.
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8. Hungary
It's rough to follow Slovenia with a gritty blues song. Most singers would feel a temptation to oversing at the outset to overcome a big operatic number right before, could be trouble. I'm worried that song order could ultimately hurt her. It's tough, you spend 1 minute of your 3 minutes winning the crowd over.
I get chills on "why did you leave me," and it leaves the crowd cheering.
I think she won them over, but I don't think she'll win.
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9. Lithuania
Yawn. Too many women in a row, and, honey, you do not compare.
Pixie haircut, the rest of the band only gets to be a big shadows on a scrim. She looks nervous.
Again, I have problems with the name and the image. A group with a name "4Fun" should not dress all in black, have shadows, and in general, present a visual image only of black. Drab.
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10. Greece
Wow, Greece has the same staging as Turkey. But it is nice to see him being backed up by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and then turned into a maypole.
The song, however, ain't no Turkey tune. "No lies, she's the bomb" Do people use that slang anymore?
The choreo ain't nothin to write home about either. I haven't seen choreo this bad since DJ Bobo.
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11. Georgia
Sopho save us!
But, sadly, she's totally running on adrenaline, and seems to be having less fun than she did in the Semis. She's trying too hard to project, and it's too much. Pulling back just a little would've helped. I'm hoping, but not sure that top 10 finish I want is possible.
I still don't care, I love the song.
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12. Sweden
Ah, good timing for some fluff. However, the lead singer has the same problem as Blake Lewis - dead eyes. Also he's playing too much to the camera. Again, a lot of black staging this time. Although having him sit and spin on the spiral is a nice touch. Funny, "sit and spin" is about where my thoughts were at.
This performance reminds me of the Scissor Sisters. A LOT.
Jen & I decided not to liveblog the final, since writing and viewing is a pain. We're each going to do our own write-ups.
We had problems with the feed from Octoshape going out on us, to the point where we actually missed all of Russia's number. We'll fill in our thoughts on that one after we watch the replay.
One disappointment was that Lordi didn't perform live. The show kicked off with a video for "Hard Rock Hallelujah", but I don't know if Lordi was even there. Too bad.
1. Bosnia
What is she wearing? It looks like a Christmas tree right before you take it down. It's kind of a dull start to the show. She's singing fine, but the song just doesn't do it for me. She should benefit from bloc voting, but I don't know if anyone else is going to remember this in the end.
2. Spain
Wait, is this 2007 or 1997? A boy band? Seriously? There's not much harmonizing going on, and the dancing is pedestrian at best. They are in synch... er... so to speak. Technically, they're fine, but this is a huge whatever.
3. Belarus
Koldun looks like Hugh Jackman. Apparently, this song is about alcohol. It has grown on me, I must say, but I don't think he's singing it well. He doesn't think so either, I bet, since he decides not to go for the high note at the end. Good choice.
4. Ireland
The problem with trying to predict winners based on the songs is that the live performance has the potential to be utterly disastrous (case in point: Jemini). Had I known that Dervish were going to be so pathetically awful live, I would not have predicted the U.K. would get the nil vote. The singer sounds like the folk singer in the Lemmiwinks episode of South Park. Abysmal.
5. Finland
Our feed went out here, but watching the replay showed that I didn't miss much. Again, it's Evanescence-lite. It's gothy and it rocks and whatnot, but it's just mediocre. I doubt Helsinki will get to host Eurovision again next year.
There's a little host segment where our hosts Jaana and Mikko meet a girl named Krisse, who says she's the world's biggest Eurovision fan and dreams of hosting. She ends up doing backstage bits for the rest of the evening. This is ridiculously staged, since Krisse is a famous Finnish comedienne apparently. She actually turns out to be kind of amusing (especially during the voting when she consoled Scooch when they weren't doing well).
6. Macedonia
The fog machine is working on overload! Karolina's singing better here than she did on Thursday, but this is such a dull number. She may do well, but I'm so not into the song.
7. Slovena
Alenka is so happy to be there! It's kinda sweet, actually. Sadly, the more I hear this song, the more it grates on my nerves. Too low-budget Lloyd Webber. She still loves the lights-on-the-hand bit.
8. Hungary
This is really early, so I hope her distinctive style and the uniqueness of the song (compared to your standard Eurovision fare) helps her get votes later. She's singing better tonight than during the semis, save for an invisible high note. Excellent performance.
9. Lithuania
Not just 4Fun, The 4Fun. The staging is very simple: lead singer with guitar up front, rest of the band behind a screen in silhouette. The song is bad, though, which the lack of over-the-top staging just points up. Not terrible, but not good either.
10. Greece
Play up that Zorba the Greek stereotype, Sarbel! The words are pathetic: "All eyes on Maria/No lie, she's the bomb." Wow. Horrible lyrics, annoying melody. The little Walk Like an Egyptian dance moves don't help, obviously. They do some dancing with ribbons that's cute, and the dancers end with the ribbons shaped in the form of the Eurovision heart logo. That's about all that's good about this, though.
11. Georgia
Sopho's oversinging it a bit, but I don't care. I would love for her to win, although I know it's not going to happen. This is my favorite song of the competition, and generally she's given Georgia a good showing tonight.
Hanna: "Leave Me Alone"
After last year's performance, it was going to be hard for Finland to field a candidate for this year's competition. Still, the Finns should feel lucky they have the free pass to the final. "Leave Me Alone" is Evanescence lite, and tedious to boot. I don't suspect a repeat winner, unless Hanna uses a ton of fireworks during her performance.
Hanna: "Leave Me Alone"
On the opening riff you think the song is going to be cool. Then it isn't.
You think it's going to be some sort of metal thing with a guy channeling the voice of L Ron Hubbard. But it's a chick singing with a generic rock voice. And the rock loses its edge once the power of the riff abates. Then it drags on. Then it closes with about 2 measures of the riff, a sad reminder of unfulfilled promise.
Finland wins Eurovision far and away with 292 points! They get to end the show with an encore of "Hard Rock Hallelujah." I wonder what this bodes for the future of the competition...
Here are the full points results from the Eurovision site: PDF
And now, Lordi, who is, as mentioned during the semis, Finland's answer to Gwar. The crowd sounds like they're kinda digging this. I love the singer's Finnish flag top hat. This is third-rate pop metal, but it works just for pure theatrics. And the singer's Finnish accent when he sings.
The audience seems to like the singer's bat wings, which pop up halfway through the song. They used a TON of fireworks during this set.
The Finnish Gwar (seriously) singing "Hard Rock Hallelujah." Key quote: "It's the Arockalypse." Finland's not even trying, but the song is really awesome.
Holy shit, the singer just sprouted bat wings from his costume. Wow. The crowd loves it, but I pity who comes next!
