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Hungary's Eurovision 2009 Entry

Jen and Chris discuss Kátya Tompos's "Magányos csónak," Hungary's entry into Eurovision 2009.

Chris: "What decade is this from?"
Jen: "The 1970s. It sounds like a Carly Simon song."
Chris: "Only... ploddier."

--

Jen: "But she can sing. Seriously."
Chris: Nods.

--

Chris: "It's there."
Jen: "Yeah."

Andorra's Eurovision 2009 Entry

Andorra's Susanne Georgi is the early competitor for the annual Ruffus "Eighties Coming Back" award. "La Teva Decisió" wouldn't be out of place in an 80s beach movie montage scene. Judging from what Georgi and her back-up dancers are wearing, that might be what they were going for.



By the way, here's how small Andorra is: they held their selection show in a karaoke bar! That's not true, obviously, but I couldn't shake that feeling, especially with the TV monitor set up on stage that was showing the official video of the song:

Denmark's Eurovision 2009 Entry

If you want to know how memorable Niels Brinck's Eurovision number "Believe Again" is, just watch how well he knows the song himself.



Oops! Denmark is a lot more forgiving than Simon Cowell, though, and it voted this one through. Of course, as Eurovision Blog notes, this was co-written by Ronan Keating. Bloody traitor. I mean, I know Lord Andrew was writing the U.K. number this year, but still, Ronan...

Per Jen: this one is an early contender, a very catchy and widely accessible pop song. Note - the force of Ronan runs strong in this one.

France's Eurovision 2009 Entry

So the French decided that if they're going to go to Eurovision, they're going to go with something that is really goddamned French. French cabaret singer Patricia Kaas' new single "Et s'il fallait le faire" will represent France at Eurovision, and if you can think of something more French than this, then I'd swear you had stock in une patisserie.



All that's missing is about 10,000 cigarettes. I guess that Parisian smoking ban is really strict.

Slovenia's Eurovision 2009 Entry

How to describe Quartissimo and Martina Majerle's "Love Symphony?" It's like Trans-Siberian Orchestra goes disco? It's like Il Divo with strings? It's like an Eastern European "Fifth of Beethoven?" It's like really annoying? Yes, let's go with that one.



Not that I spent a lot of time contemplating this, but there is no way Martina Majerle did NOT use a ton of tape to keep the top of her dress in place.

Romania's Eurovision 2009 Entry

I can't tell: is Elena Gheorghe's "The Balkan Girls" mocking the success the Balkan states have had in Eurovision? Nah, it's just some random upbeat slice of Euro-cheese.

Key lyric: "I'll find a boy for a kiss/Who knows, maybe he'll be my prince."



For some reason, this performance video reminded me of the scene in Glitter when Mariah is doing her first video and Dice gets all up in the Eurotrash director's area.

Finland's Eurovision 2009 Entry

Finland may have finally figured out that heavy metal alone does not win Eurovision. I present Waldo's People and "Lose Control."



I don't know if it's a good idea to get all Real McCoy here, but at least it's not another Lordi retread without the theatrics.

United Kingdom's Eurovision 2009 Entry

Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Diane Warren teamed up to write the song, and Graham Norton hosted a talent show to pick the singer. Put it all together and you get Jade and "It's My Time."



Jen says, "This is why Simon Cowell prefers doing American Idol."

Netherland's Eurovision 2009 Entry

De Toppers have debuted their Eurovision song, "Shine," and it does not disappoint.



Is this not the most chipper darned song you've ever heard? It makes "It's A Small World" sound like Fields of the Nephilim. I imagine that the stage production will get tweaked a bit for the big show. Ideally, the stage should be flooded with kids dressed in traditional costumes. And those costumes will be covered in sequins, of course.

And remember: "Love will make us glow in the dark!"