Latvia has pulled out of the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest due to financial difficulties, and not because there was no way on the good green earth that they could top last year's entry.
San Marino has also pulled out, which is somehow a little less tragic.
Forget what I said about "Day After Day." Pirates of the Sea's "Wolves of the Sea" is this year's "Vampires Are Alive." Wow, this is really, really, really, really, really freakin' stupid.
UPDATED: Watching this a second time, I'm surprised I didn't pick up the obvious Rednex influence on this number.
Jen's commentary, based on notes, continued.
13. France
Wow, this seems pretty disrespectful, like they're mocking other Eurovision countries. And, wait, is that in the opening riff a sample of the Belarus song? Sheesh. They come off like total assholes.
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14. Latvia
Let's bring it boys, the contest is ripe for the picking. Their performance has benefited from the extra rehearsal time. They sound much better than in the semis.
All of them are holding white roses. Except the Italian. He gets the red rose. You know, like the flag.
At least I now have the answer that nagging question: what does it sound like when 6 opera singers sing Leo Sayer.
Dangerous. They sounded good.
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15. Russia
Doesn't pretend to be anything anything other than what it is - barely legal eye candy singing a dance confection. And they work it. I love it, and so does the audience.
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16. Germany
It's hard to follow Russia. But he's a pro - sounds good, looks good (although maybe a tad too much like Jack Black for my liking), and has a 5 piece jazz combo complete with upright bass. There's some sensitivity in the vocal - he knows exactly how to sing to a big crowd like this.
On the backdrop is only a giant ROGER CICERO in BIG ASS LIGHTS. That suggests to me he doesn't think he's got a shot at this and is only here for the exposure. Eh, so be it. He's the best entry Germany's had in years, and I dig it.
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17. Serbia
I see we're in the heavy artillery section of the draw. She's got a great voice, and sings with great musicality. And, unlike Georgia, knows not to oversing. I'm very impressed by the amount of support she's got on the really big notes.
Really good - I think she' s got it.
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18. Ukraine
He's dressed like a giant disco ball, with a communist star on his head. On his back is a "69", like a ballroom dancing competition number. The backup singers are dressed in silver lame 40s-GI-inspired outfits. To me, it really does remind me of WWII. And cartoon mice, like when they're "making the dress for Cinderellee", except in this case they're mocking Germans. "La la lalalala la la..."
But, hey, the performance has good energy, and is well sung even though there is a lot of movement. This is the better performance compared with Denmark. Of course, it doesn't change the fact the song goes nowhere.
I don't get it.
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19. United Kingdom
It rough placement for the UK to follow Ukraine, especially with this fluff. It's like having a 5 year aged blue cheese, followed immediately by mild cheddar.
They're dressed like flight attendants, and clearly the song isn't strong because they have tons of props. Utter theatrics.
Miserable. An embarrassment.
I guess they deserve points
1) for their commitment; and 2) for being in tune.
Bottom line: it's Saved By The Bell comes to Eurovision. I'm so excited... so excited... so... scared.
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20. Romania
Like Latvia, this act is 6 men. Except each one is singing in a different language. And, aw, it's at Eurovision... like we should all come together. Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.
They have better choreo than Latvia, but not better singing, and it's not a better song.
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21. Bulgaria
Sigh... 3 more left. Rock it, kids.
I like that the intensity of this song is driven by percussion. By drums, not by backup dancers or by singers trying too hard.
This builds nicely - it's really good, they look relaxed and like they're having fun. They did better than the semis. They might place top 10 after all.
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22. Turkey
Good placement for Turkey here, the last song of consequence. He too looks comfortable, better than the semis. He's also playing to the crowd - nice touch. I'm digging it.
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23. Armenia
Someone TP'd his tree. Probably the Turks.
Who's strangling the cat?
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24. Moldova
Over singing in a big way.
Sheesh, she's pitchy, screechy.
Moldova could learn a lesson from Bulgaria.
12. Sweden
What is The Ark's singer wearing? It looks like a metal bib. Good pop from the crowd for them, but this performance really lacks energy. I was wrong in my preview, by the way: this does sound like ABBA. It sounds like "Waterloo" covered by a glam band. This would've won in 1977, but I don't think it has a chance thirty years later. I like the swirling spinning lazy susan the vocalist rides on near the end, though.
13. France
They're dressed in pink and black. This is supposed to be cute and funny, but instead it's just frantic and grating. There's a brief sample of Belarus' opening riff in the middle. Really bad.
Ooo, a shushing librarian segment! Actually, the librarian hisses more than shushes. Is that how they do it in Finland?
14. Latvia
Where's my wine? I need some right now. Although they're singing really well tonight. I'm still concerned it will do well, but man, I hate this song.
15. Russia
As mentioned, we had to watch this during the replay because of our connection problems. "Song #1" is a complete guilty pleasure song. It's staged pretty straightforwardly, as if it were a rock concert performance. There's a little choreography and a lot of posturing, and great use of the electronic backdrop. This was a lot of fun for me.
16. Germany
Very Vegasy. The electronic backdrop has "ROGER CICERO" displayed in giant letters, with RCs all over the place on stage. Roger's performance is so smooth. I don't know if he even remotely has a shot to win, but I thought he did a great job.
17. Serbia
The staging of this is anti-staging. They really let Marija and the song be the stars. She is giving me chills. I can't see anyone (not even Ukraine, who are the favorites) winning this besides Marija. Brilliantly done.
YES!!! I'm stepping in just in time to see all the awesome ones. This one is a laugh riot. People in the office have no idea why I'm roaring.
These guys are wearing tophats, tails, and blue jeans. It's a strange look to say the least. Like they're have Italian tenors, but the other half had to pick their outfit out of a dumpster. Incredibly un-hot singers. Most of which are horribly pitchy. It's all I had hoped it would be from the recording.
The background lights look like a big cross when looked at from an establishing shot. Damn Christian propaganda.
And we end with Bonaparti.lv, our second opera performers of the evening. They're wearing top hats, tuxedo jackets, vests of different colors with matching medals, and blue jeans. Well, the first three singers are. The next three have eschewed the vests, but kept the medals. The last one is wearing a long white scarf.
I am cataloging their outfits instead of evaluating their performance because it got so bad I took off the headphones I'm listening to the show through to avoid further brain damage.
Seriously, I miss the metal puppet.
Bonaparti.lv - "Questa Notte"
Do I read this right, their band name is a URL? Does it need the www before it? Bonaparti.lv is 150% Il Divo. Except the extra 50% is totally pitchy. It's 6 tenors, and for the life of me I cannot figure out what they offer. It's ain't harmony, that's for sure. And 4 of the 6 aren't even remotely hot.
Bonaparti.lv: "Questa Notte"
Bonaparti.lv is made up of six tenors, so naturally their song sounds like the Three Tenors going adult contemporary. It's not really very good, because opera singers shouldn't sing pop. Why they're named after their website, I have no idea. Still, I bet they could kick Il Divo's collective asses from here to Riga.
Cosmos is an a cappella group. Unlike the other numbers so far (and indeed, likely for the rest of the night), they're clearly singing live. All the signs of good a cappella are here: tight harmonies, smooth beat boxing, lame choreography, a constipated-sounding tenor singer. Unlike most a cappella groups, Cosmos has a small metal puppet. The puppet is so lame, I stopped listening to the song and tried to figure out why they needed the prop.
