Lemur Love

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2009-02-11T13:21:00.000-05:00

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Hungary's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-06T21:47:00.002-05:00

Jen and Chris discuss Kátya Tompos's "Magányos csónak," Hungary's entry into Eurovision 2009.

Chris: "What decade is this from?"
Jen: "The 1970s. It sounds like a Carly Simon song."
Chris: "Only... ploddier."

--

Jen: "But she can sing. Seriously."
Chris: Nods.

--

Chris: "It's there."
Jen: "Yeah."

Andorra's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-06T08:56:00.004-05:00

Andorra's Susanne Georgi is the early competitor for the annual Ruffus "Eighties Coming Back" award. "La Teva Decisió" wouldn't be out of place in an 80s beach movie montage scene. Judging from what Georgi and her back-up dancers are wearing, that might be what they were going for.

By the way, here's how small Andorra is: they held their selection show in a karaoke bar! That's not true, obviously, but I couldn't shake that feeling, especially with the TV monitor set up on stage that was showing the official video of the song:

Denmark's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-04T13:32:00.005-05:00

If you want to know how memorable Niels Brinck's Eurovision number "Believe Again" is, just watch how well he knows the song himself.

Oops! Denmark is a lot more forgiving than Simon Cowell, though, and it voted this one through. Of course, as Eurovision Blog notes, this was co-written by Ronan Keating. Bloody traitor. I mean, I know Lord Andrew was writing the U.K. number this year, but still, Ronan...

Per Jen: this one is an early contender, a very catchy and widely accessible pop song. Note - the force of Ronan runs strong in this one.

France's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-04T13:20:00.004-05:00

So the French decided that if they're going to go to Eurovision, they're going to go with something that is really goddamned French. French cabaret singer Patricia Kaas' new single "Et s'il fallait le faire" will represent France at Eurovision, and if you can think of something more French than this, then I'd swear you had stock in une patisserie.

All that's missing is about 10,000 cigarettes. I guess that Parisian smoking ban is really strict.

Slovenia's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-04T13:01:00.004-05:00

How to describe Quartissimo and Martina Majerle's "Love Symphony?" It's like Trans-Siberian Orchestra goes disco? It's like Il Divo with strings? It's like an Eastern European "Fifth of Beethoven?" It's like really annoying? Yes, let's go with that one.

Not that I spent a lot of time contemplating this, but there is no way Martina Majerle did NOT use a ton of tape to keep the top of her dress in place.

Romania's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-04T12:54:00.003-05:00

I can't tell: is Elena Gheorghe's "The Balkan Girls" mocking the success the Balkan states have had in Eurovision? Nah, it's just some random upbeat slice of Euro-cheese.

Key lyric: "I'll find a boy for a kiss/Who knows, maybe he'll be my prince."

For some reason, this performance video reminded me of the scene in Glitter when Mariah is doing her first video and Dice gets all up in the Eurotrash director's area.

Finland's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-04T12:50:00.003-05:00

Finland may have finally figured out that heavy metal alone does not win Eurovision. I present Waldo's People and "Lose Control."

I don't know if it's a good idea to get all Real McCoy here, but at least it's not another Lordi retread without the theatrics.

United Kingdom's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-03T19:01:00.004-05:00

Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Diane Warren teamed up to write the song, and Graham Norton hosted a talent show to pick the singer. Put it all together and you get Jade and "It's My Time."

Jen says, "This is why Simon Cowell prefers doing American Idol."

Netherland's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-02-03T15:08:00.006-05:00

De Toppers have debuted their Eurovision song, "Shine," and it does not disappoint.

Is this not the most chipper darned song you've ever heard? It makes "It's A Small World" sound like Fields of the Nephilim. I imagine that the stage production will get tweaked a bit for the big show. Ideally, the stage should be flooded with kids dressed in traditional costumes. And those costumes will be covered in sequins, of course.

And remember: "Love will make us glow in the dark!"

Two more Eurovision notes

2009-01-30T14:40:00.002-05:00

I can't tell you which Eurovision act I'm looking forward to more: Switzerland's Lovebugs, a Swiss Britpop act, or the Czech Republic's Gipsy.cz, a Roma rap act. Neither are particularly promising, but Gipsy.cz at least doesn't sound like Keane covering Oasis.

Montenegro's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-01-30T14:25:00.005-05:00

Montenegro is sending Andrea Demirović to Moscow with "Just Get Out of My Life." It's pure disco. I like it, and it'll get stuck in your head if you don't watch out. On the other hand, I don't know if having it stuck in your head will be particularly pleasurable after an hour or so. We'll see how this one wears on me.

Belarus' Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-01-30T14:15:00.003-05:00

This is Petr Elfimov's "Eyes That Never Lie." Man, Belarus can't merge with Russia fast enough in my mind. That's some scream at the end.

Do I have to eat at a Bobby Flay restaurant now?

2009-01-14T12:21:00.007-05:00

As much as I am loathe to admit it, given Paula Deen's ubiquitousness, but her Savannah restaurant The Lady and Sons is really good.

I figured since I wanted to try the Southern buffet that it would be better to go to the restaurant for lunch (where the buffet costs $13.99) instead of dinner ($17.99). It's in an unassuming three-story building, but The Lady and Sons uses all three floors. I walked into the empty first floor and was sent to the third floor, which is where the lunch was being served. I overheard a construction worker tell one of the other seven guys in his party that the place regularly fills up all three floors at dinner.

At 11 a.m. it wasn't so busy yet, but by the time I left, the lunch crowd was beginning to come in. I went over pretty much as soon as I got in. I went from the airport to my hotel, dropped off my stuff, and walked right over. I noticed several people that I had seen at the airport (on my flight down, even) were looking over the menus too.

The buffet was stocked with a lot of standard Southern fare: fried chicken, black-eyed peas, collards. And a lot of it was excellent. The fried chicken, just right. The mashed potatoes with gravy, rich and delicious. Buttery, of course. The black-eyed peas, rich with a hint of spiciness as they went down my throat. The collards... well, I make better collards, but we all can't be me, right?

The highlight for me, though, were the sweet potatoes. I don't know how they're made, but they tasted like a sweet potato custard. Sweet, tangy, spicy, rich, creamy, terrific.

The buffet comes with dessert, but not the dessert I wanted to eat: pecan pie. I paid a little extra to get it, and in retrospect, I probably should have skipped a couple of items while I was eating.

I have eaten a lot of pecan pie. I love pecan pie. It is one of my favorite desserts. This was the best one I've had. Seriously. There were tons of pecans, which were roasted and sweetened. The gooey filling was rich and sweet, and while there was plenty of it, it didn't overpower the pecans at all. The crust was... wait for it... rich and buttery. It was really good. I couldn't finish it in one go, so the rest of it is sitting in my hotel room's fridge right now. I want to eat it right now, even though I'm still full.

So I went to say whatever, and came out impressed. Doesn't mean I'm going to start watching her shows or buying gifts at her gift shop, but I may look for that pecan pie recipe.

SNL try to save Broadway

2009-01-11T18:14:00.004-05:00

The best part of this clip is that we saw Neil Patrick Harris play Mark in the touring production of Rent in San Diego a few years ago.

The global financial crisis affects us all

2009-01-08T11:01:00.002-05:00

Latvia has pulled out of the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest due to financial difficulties, and not because there was no way on the good green earth that they could top last year's entry.

San Marino has also pulled out, which is somehow a little less tragic.

Turkey's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2009-01-07T15:46:00.008-05:00

After one year of delving into the hard rock genre (successfully, in my mind), Turkey returns to what it does best: sexy Mediterranean Europop. Here's Hadise's "Düm Tek Tek":

Guess what? It's going to get stuck in your head for days, and you're not going to mind all that much.

Albania's Eurovision 2009 Entry

2008-12-30T10:25:00.011-05:00

Holy shit, is it Eurovision time already? YES! Albania got the jump on the competition not by being first alphabetically, but by holding their national selection competition on December 21. The winner: "Më Merr Në Ëndërr", sung by Kejsi Tola.

Could Tola look more bored performing this song? She's the 2007 Albanian Idol winner, so I have no problem pointing out that she was a bit pitchy during her performance.

I love that the orchestra conductor had a little John McCain moment towards the end of the song and wandered across the stage behind Tola as she sang. He may have been as bored as Tola since I'm pretty sure the orchestra was utilized not one bit during this song. Which, by the way, is boilerplate Balkan Eurovision pop.

Because it is still really early in 2009 (in that it is still 2008), Wikipedia's Eurovision 2009 page is still scant on details of when the rest of Europe will be picking their entries. But that doesn't mean it is completely devoid of juicy information. For example, Sakis Rouvas will represent Greece again. Turkey, meanwhile, will be represented by Hadise, who is part-Belgian and all-diva.

But the really exciting news is that the Netherlands is sending De Toppers to Moscow. Seriously, watch this video and try not to get excited that they'll be competing in Eurovision:

As far as I can tell, they are a combination of Siegfried & Roy and a PBS pledge special set in the Castro. This could be, and I don't fear being contradicted when I say this, the greatest Dutch entry ever.

And there you have the facts of life

2008-12-15T02:16:00.002-05:00

The bad news: Sir Terry Wogan is stepping down as the BBC's Eurovision commentator.

The good news: Graham Norton is taking over for him.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2008-12-11T21:02:00.002-05:00

Ouch

2008-11-20T12:19:00.002-05:00

A revival of David Mamet's American Buffalo opened on Monday. It received lukewarm reviews, and now it is closing on Sunday. You'd think a show with Cedric the Entertainer, John Leguizamo and Haley Joel Osment would overcome a tepid reception to run out the season, but given the current economic climate, only raves could possibly, maybe save a show. After all, who's going to spend $51.50 to $116.50 (actual American Buffalo ticket prices) on theater tickets if the show isn't supposed to be any bloody good?

I Hate Lloyd Webber & Yet I'm Excited About This

2008-10-20T16:01:00.003-04:00

Andrew Lloyd Webber has agreed to write the U.K. 2009 Eurovision entry. Now, if they can just get Morrissey to sing it.

"To Be Or Not To Be": Not To Be

2008-10-15T08:48:00.005-04:00

The title is a reference to The Last Action Hero (so sorry about that), but it seems to sum up the reviews of the new stage version of the Jack Benny/Carole Lombard film To Be Or Not To Be. In fact, Clive Barnes even uses a similar line to close his pan of the show: "So what is it: To be or not to be? Not. Definitely not."

The other reviews are no better.

David Rooney, in Variety, calls the show a "misguided rehash" and says, "...it's in the long-winded second act, where he tries to one-up the screenplay, that things become embarrassing." He points out that star David Rasche (who took over when Craig Bierko left the production) "seems acutely aware the jokes are not landing." Oh, and of course, there is the sly reference to the show's title: "Nice idea, but at least in this clumsy attempt, it's not to be."

Ben Brantley, in The New York Times, opens with this line:

If the producers of the walking corpse of a comedy "To Be or Not to Be" are feeling unappreciated this morning — and it’s a safe bet that they are — here’s a consoling thought for them.

He goes on to point out that the original movie was underrated at its time of release and eventually became seen as a classic. Of course he adds that he sees no time in the future where anyone will say, "Doh! How could we have missed the greatness of it?"

Brantley also wonders if, instead of making the Young Frankenstein musical, Mel Brooks should have instead optioned To Be Or Not To Be as his follow-up to the Producers musical. Brooks, of course, has already done his own version of To Be Or Not To Be, which isn't exactly a beloved part of Brooks' filmography.

To his credit, Brantley avoids making a To Be Or Not To Be reference in his review. On the other hand, Linda Winer, in Newsday, gets the reference out of the way right off the bat: "'To be or not to be' is not the question. Why? Now that's the question."

Malcolm Johnson, in the Hartford Courant, gives the show a moderately good review, although even he says, "All of this makes for an enjoyable evening, though not always as funny as [director Casey] Nicholaw obviously hopes."

The Washington Post critic Peter Marks usually reviews Broadway openings, but he seems to have skipped this one. Perhaps he read Michael Riedel's takedown of the show, which blames the show's problems on writer Nick Whitby. (No reference to Whitlessby?)

Wall Street Journal critic Terry Teachout and New York magazine have yet to publish their reviews. But even if those notices are glowing (which is a pretty far-fetched thought at this pont), it's probably too late to save To Be Or Not To Be.

UPDATE (10/17/8): Because Teachout only appears in the Friday WSJ, he reviews the week's openings all at once. To Be Or Not To Be warranted only a paragraph. Calling the show "disastrous to behold," he writes the following:

...Nick Whitby's adaptation, which takes the script of the 1942 film, pumps it full of new punch lines and tacks on a semiserious ending, makes no sense at all -- not least because none of Mr. Whitby's jokes are even slightly funny.

His review of All My Sons, which co-stars Katie Holmes, is just as withering. Meanwhile, we're still waiting for New York's review.

Our baby looks like Simon Pegg

2008-10-04T15:57:00.003-04:00

I'd say separated at birth, except Kieran was just born, and Simon Pegg was born previously.

Kieran Xander Zammarelli

2008-09-26T21:11:00.003-04:00

A lesson on why I should not be allowed to use a video camera when I'm overtired.

The Lights! The Lights!

2008-09-09T13:23:00.004-04:00

It's Fashion Week, and even though there are still lots of shows to go, I will bet you are not going to see anything quite as awful as this Calvin Klein outfit. I mean, you'll see stuff you'd never, ever wear for a variety of reasons. But this Calvin Klein outfit is something you'd never, ever wear for all of those reasons.

At Last Our House Is Complete Again!

2008-07-25T09:34:00.002-04:00

This is not pop culture-related, Sweeney Todd reference in the title notwithstanding. The person we bought our house from walled off the back half of the house to create an apartment that she could rent out for extra income. When we moved in, we had every intention of renting it out while Chris was in grad school. We never did, so it ended up serving as a guest suite.

Now that we've got a wee little baby on the way, we decided it was time to knock down the wall separating the front of the house from the back. So, here's what the inside of our house looked like before:

And here's what it looks like now:

Seriously, this is so exciting that we're actually blogging about it even though it has nothing to with Eurovision.

The Addams Family Musical

2008-06-27T16:54:00.003-04:00

So sayeth Playbill:

"The musical is penned by songwriter Andrew Lippa and Jersey Boys writers Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice, the hot bookwriting team of the moment. Adding further spice to the project are Improbable Theater founders Phelim McDermott and Julian Crouch, the creators of the macabre Shockheaded Peter, who will direct and design."

Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth as Gomez and Morticia? Fine by me. Writers from Jersey Boys? Strange, but okay. Shockheaded Peter creators involved? Perfect.

Jen and I saw Julian Crouch play Ariel in The Tempest at the Royal Shakespeare Company, and he was brilliant. That Patrick Stewart fellow in the lead part has a future in this business, too.

Chris' Eurovision Finals Recap, Part Two

2008-05-30T15:54:00.004-04:00

View Part One here.

15. Sweden
Man, so much eyeliner. Solid performance, and I’m sure the neighborly voting will help Charlotte Perrelli out.

16. Denmark
So frigging perky! I wonder if Simon Mathew has an outside shot at hitting the top five. He won’t win, because Russia is going to, but he could do well.

17. Georgia
Who raided DJ Bobo’s closet? Time for another bathroom break.

18. Ukraine
Absolutely fucking awesome. Brilliant, I tell you.

19. France
Could the back-up singers be any more out of tune? I wonder if they’re auditioning for No Angels. This is a bit of a train wreck because of that.

20. Azerbaijan
Speaking of train wrecks, Samir is particularly screechy tonight. This is so over the top, and yet try to look away. This number is what Terry Wogan sees if he goes to bed on a full stomach.

21. Greece
Kalomira’s performance was better in the semis, but this is a memorable enough performance and a catchy enough song to win votes. The back-up dances for Kalomira are pretty good, by the way.

22. Spain
God help me, I love this song. It’s so stupid, and so awesome, and so silly, and so fantastic. A joke song perfectly executed.

23. Serbia
Grand, dramatic, and epic. Jelena Tomašević had a couple of bum notes, but who cares? This is a great song.

24. Russia
Okay, Dima wins. No doubt.

25. Norway
Dima is a tough act to follow, but Maria Haukaas Storeng does an admirable job. This lacks Russia’s gravitas, but it’s still a cool song.

So, here are my predictions:
1. Russia
2. Ukraine
3. Serbia
4. Sweden
5. Greece
6. Portugal
7. Azerbaijan
8. Turkey
9. Armenia
10. Bosnia and Herzegovina
11. Iceland
12. United Kingdom (What the Heck pick)

Note that even though I thought Denmark could place in the Top Five, I didn’t pick them. This is what is known in the business as FSOM (“Freaking stupid of me”).

Also, my predictions for bottom three:
23. Poland
24. Germany
25. France.

And here are the actual results:
1. Russia
2. Ukraine
3. Greece
4. Armenia
5. Norway (oops, wrong Scandinavian country)
6. Serbia
7. Turkey
8. Azerbaijan
9. Israel
10. Bosnia
11. Georgia
12. Latvia

And the actual bottom three, much to Terry Wogan’s chargin:
23. Germany
24. Poland
25. United Kingdom

Actually, that’s a three-way tie for last place. They all finished with 14 points.

Jen wondered if maybe the big four (U.K., Germany, France, and Spain) are hurt by having a bye to the finals. It’s possible, although the bye didn’t hurt Serbia that much. On the other hand, Serbia has guaranteed votes from the other Balkan countries.

Still, there was no doubt in my mind Russia would win. It should be an interesting show next year in Moscow.

Chris' Eurovision Finals Recap, Part One

2008-05-30T14:27:00.006-04:00

It’s Eurovision time again, and why not kick off the show in Belgrade with last year’s winner, Marija Šerifović? She does “Molitva,” which for tonight’s show has a more Euro-dance feel to it, not to mention gender-bending back-up dancers. She also does a second song that features the lyric, “They will find one day/Love DNA.”

After a little introductory spiel from hosts Jovana Janković and Željko Joksimović, we get underway.

1. Romania
Bad first note from Nico. In fact, she’s pretty awful tonight. It’s like Vlad is the Steve Lawrence of Romania and Nico is the Eydie Gorme.

2. United Kingdom
It really sucks Andy Abraham is going second. I do love this song, and he does a great job. Slick, polished fun.

3. Albania
Olta Boka just cannot carry that chorus. Her voice lacks the richness to sing it over the orchestration by herself. I kinda like the song, but her performance doesn’t do it for me.

4. Germany
Die alle Heiligen! No, wait, No Angels are nowhere near as good as All Saints. The chorus is actively annoying, and the blonde singer is so far out of tune that she might as well be singing “I’m a Little Teapot.” Horrible.

5. Armenia
Love the song, but Sirusho was a bit flat throughout. Better than her performance in the semis, but still not as good as it could be.

6. Bosnia & Herzegovina
The staging of “Pokušaj” strikes me as a window into how Bosnians interpret French comedies. Regardless, it brings a tear to my eye. I love this song so much. (Sir Terry Wogan appeared to have liked it too, until it got more votes than the U.K.)

7. Israel
Man, I really can’t stand Boaz’ upper register. I wish Dana International did this song, seeing as she wrote it and all.

8. Finland
Bathroom break.

9. Croatia
If it weren’t for 75 Cent yelling at me, I’d completely forget about this number.

10. Poland
Sayeth Sir Terry: “The brightest teeth outside of the Osmond family.” The fake tan brings out the whiteness.

11. Iceland
The orchestration is terrific, the performance is fantastic. A Euro-dance classic.

12. Turkey
The more I hear Mor ve Ötesi’s live performance of this song, the more I like it. I wasn’t sure about Turkey deviating from the Mediterranean pop, but this is a really good song.

13. Portugal
Vânia Fernandes is far and away the best singer at Eurovision. Terrific performance. Maybe a little block voting from Andorra, Spain, and France will help. Romance languages gots ta stick together.

14. Latvia
God, this is so dumb.

View Part Two here.

Chris' Eurovision Semi-Finals Two Recap, Part Two

2008-05-23T00:02:00.002-04:00

11. Croatia

If it weren’t for the old guy accosting the audience, I would totally forget about this song. Still, having him scratch using a record on an old phonograph is pretty amusing.

12. Bulgaria

“DJ, Take Me Away” is a pretty generic Euro-dance track. There are all these things going on during the act, such as handheld turntables that are held like guitars and turntables on fire and the lead singer’s can-can dress. But these don’t add up to a compelling performance. I do like the song itself, but the performance was not up to snuff.

13. Denmark

Simon Mathew looks way too hardcore to be signing a number this chipper. This is a peppy, cutesy number that might just do well because of when it’s performed. If this were earlier in the show, it’d totally get lost.

14. Georgia

I cannot stand Diana Gurtskaya’s voice. It’s not that she can’t sing (although she was a bit pitchy during her number), but there’s a quality to her voice that grates on me. This is a painfully earnest song that I couldn’t give two shits about. Such a comedown from Sopho.

15. Hungary

Here’s an 80s-style R&B ballad that is completely dull and not particularly well-performed. But I bet little old ladies watching Eurovision will like it.

16. Malta

VODKA! As Terry Wogan said, it’s the Eurovision commentator’s best friend. The opening riff of the song is annoying, but Morena sings the hell out of it. Being towards the end of the night should help get it through.

17. Cyprus

Eurovision Blog refers to this as “The Oompa Loompa Song.” No shit. It’s sung well, but it’s poorly orchestrated and it has a lot of manic, unfocused energy. Plus, it’s like three minutes, but it really feels like 10. Blech.

18. FYR Macedonia

If this Eurovision thing doesn’t work out for Tamara, she could totally do the Balkan Liza Minnelli impersonator circuit. She’s not a strong singer, but her back-up singers help lift the song. It’s not great, but much better than their performance during the Macedonian selection show. I suspect it will get through based on Balkan bloc voting and the fact that it’s the second to last song.

19. Portugal

Man, Vânia Fernandes can belt. This is a poppy fado number, and while the orchestration is a bit busy, Vânia just takes over and brings it home. Considering this is a slower, downbeat number, it ends up being a strong ending to a mediocre semi-final.

Here are my picks to go through:

Turkey
Ukraine
Switzerland
Latvia
Bulgaria
Denmark
Hungary
Malta
FYR Macedonia
Portugal

I really really really want Iceland to go through, but like I said, I think kicking off the show might hurt them.

Some ballet dancers perform a routine inspired by a popular Serbian film. Judging from the make-up and costumes, it’s a film about destitute zombies working on a Soviet farm. Or something like that.

After some more vamping from the hosts, and an amusingly awkward interview by one of the backstage hosts with Tamara from FYR Macedonia, we get the results:

Ukraine
Croatia… what the fuck?
Albania… bloc voting!
Iceland… HELLS yeah!
Georgia… gawd, really?
Denmark
Sweden
Latvia
Turkey
Portugal

I underestimated Sweden, obviously, and I guess it’s not a surprise that the earnest number from Georgia got votes. I’m surprised Hungary and Switzerland didn’t go through, but I am even more surprised that Croatia did. Maybe all that jibber jabber from the old guy was actually a form of mass hypnosis.

Tonight was pretty painful, but the end result means we get a really strong final on Saturday. Be back then!

Chris' Eurovision Semi-Finals Two Recap, Part One

2008-05-23T00:00:00.003-04:00

The second semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest were held in Belgrade, Serbia earlier tonight. As with the first semis, I’ve divided my recap into two parts. Again, unless I mention that the dancing was good, assume that the dancing sucked.

1. Iceland

I love this song. It’s got a Real McCoy feel to it. Euroband’s performance is excellent, but I fear that going first may kill their chances.

2. Sweden

My god, Charlotte Perrelli has had a lot of work done. I mean, she looks unnatural. The song is catchy and she sings it well, so overall a good performance. Nil point for the plastic surgeon, though.

3. Turkey

Turkey’s rocking out this year. I wasn’t into this song before, but Mor ve Ötesi’s performance is very good. They sound great, and they have a lot of intensity. So far, so good tonight.

4. Ukraine

I think Dima Bilan is going to win Eurovision for Russia, but Ani Lorak’s “Shady Lady” is definitely my favorite song this year. The staging of this number is fun. The male dancers are in this box that lights up on each of them during the opening lines of the song. That description so doesn’t do this justice, so just check out the video from the show:

Just fantastic.

5. Lithuania

Now the evening goes downhill. This is absolutely awful. Jeronimas Milius’ singing is all over the place, and he’s over-emoting horribly. This is the Eurovision equivalent of Laurence Olivier in The Jazz Singer. Abysmal.

6. Albania

Olta Boka is not a horrible singer, but she doesn’t have an intense enough voice to handle the chorus of the song. It’s kind of an amateurish performance, which is too bad, because the song is not bad.

7. Switzerland

Here’s your Johnny Logan number for the night. Unfortunately, while “Era Stupendo” is not horrible, Paolo has trouble holding notes. He goes flat if he holds a note longer than three seconds. It’s a problem, but I’m sure this one goes through anyway.

8. Czech Republic

I had high hopes for this, because while “Have Some Fun” is not a profound song by any means, the recorded track sounded pretty good. Live, however, this was an absolute train wreck. They’ve remixed the song for the show and added a deejay who yells throughout the entire song. There are lots of extraneous explosions at random times during the song. The dancing is strikingly awful, even by Eurovision standards. And the singer, Tereza, is completely drowned out by the music. This is utterly atrocious.

9. Belarus

This song is called “Hasta La Vista.” How appropriate. This is so bad that I found myself looking forward to the day Belarus merges into Russia. Also, there are these big mounds with lights in them on the stage that look like leftover props from Invasion of the Body Snatchers: The Musical.

10. Latvia

“Wolves of the Sea” by Pirates of the Sea. Sample lyrics: “We’re robbing you blind/I hope you don’t mind” and “There’s no Peter Pan, so what can you do?” All I can say is never underestimate Rednex’ influence. Still, this is cute enough to go through, I bet.

Spiegel Eurovision Triva Quiz

2008-05-21T11:56:00.002-04:00

Spiegel has a new pub quiz called "The Song Contest that Taste Forgot," all about Eurovision. I got 10 of 12 correct, and I'm actually annoyed I didn't get 11.

Blue is the color and football is the game

2008-05-21T07:20:00.006-04:00

Go Chelsea!

Chris' Eurovision Semi-Finals One Recap, Part Two

2008-05-20T23:03:00.002-04:00

11. Ireland

A lot of people in the crowd are already booing. The song wouldn’t be half-bad if the fucking turkey puppet could sing in tune. I realize that Ireland isn’t even trying this year, but this is an absolute mess even as a joke tune. Irelande, nil pointe!

12. Andorra

Try following Dustin the Turkey, Gisela. Her outfit is horrible, and I think she’s wearing a plate on her head. Also, what did she do to her hair? What the hell? Man. I like the song, but she’s not doing it any it any favors tonight.

13. Bosnia and Herzegovina

This is staged like a joke song, and for all I know, the Bosnian lyrics are probably jokey too, but I gotta tell you: I love this song. I really do. Laka’s voice is a bit nasal, but I really don’t care. I’m rooting for block voting tonight.

14. Armenia

Sirusho oversang this by a mile, but “Qele Qele” a great song. I suspect it’ll do well, although that’s in part because Armenia always does well. If she goes through, I hope she dials it back a bit.

15. The Netherlands

The Greeks called. They want their entry back.

16. Finland

Sludgy Judas Priest-style metal. This sticks out of the competition like a swollen eyeball. Oh, Lordi, what hath thou wrought?

17. Romania

Here is your operatic entry for the night (ignoring Elnur’s little operatic vamp at the start of “Day After Day”). It reminds me a lot of Bonaparti.lv from last year’s show, only… you know… good. I figure if Bonaparti.lv makes it to the final, this will too.

18. Russia

Honestly, this year’s Eurovision is Dima Bilan’s to lose. I really can’t imagine him not winning. And to show he’s serious about the competition, he’s got Evgeni Plushenko ice skating to his song. Take that, Europe! Dima’s way pitchy, but I doubt that will affect the voting. Hopefully, he’ll have a better night on Saturday.

19. Greece

I love Kalomira olives! Actually, Kalomira is one of two Americans performing tonight (Isis Gee is the other). This is a fantastic number. I know Timbaland has worked with Dima Bilan, but this song reminds me of his production style a lot. (I am convinced, by the way, that Timbaland is a massive Eurovision fan.)

Now that the performances are done, Novak Djokovic comes out to kick off the voting. Here are my picks, in order of appearance:

Israel
Belgium (What King Kaufman calls the What the Heck Pick)
Slovenia
Norway
Poland
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Armenia
Romania
Russia
Greece

After the voting stops and the vote counting begins, we get a long performance by an act that apparently is shown on Serbian public television during pledge drives. Finally, we get to the results, and they’re a bit surprising:

Greece
Romania
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Finland… FINLAND?!!?
Russia
Israel
Azerbaijan…!?
Armenia
Poland
Norway

Well, there you go. As usual, I should never make picks on whims. Otherwise, I guess this was a pretty predictable finish, Finland notwithstanding. Even Azerbaijan I can understand a bit, but Finland? I wonder if Scandinavian block voting is going to start battling Eastern European block voting.

Anyway, that’s all for tonight. The second round is on Thursday, and I’ll be back then.

Chris' Eurovision Semi-Finals One Recap, Part One

2008-05-20T21:52:00.005-04:00

The first semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest were held in Belgrade, Serbia earlier tonight. Here is the first part of my notes about the show. By the way, unless I mention that the dancing was good, assume, as always, that the dancing sucked.

After the opening festivities, with the first klezmer version of "Waterloo" I've ever heard, we jump in with...

1. Montenegro

Thanks for playing.

2. Israel

I hate the sound of Boaz’ voice in his upper register. The song itself is good, but his voice is a bit nasal. Still, he’s a good enough singer, and certainly dreamy, so he might just be memorable enough to make it to the finals.

3. ESTONIA!!!!!

“Leto Svet” is just… odd. The song has grown on me, actually, the way Verka did last year, but the staging is so… odd. I mean, I know it’s a jokey song and all, but still… odd. There’s a bit of booing after the song is over.

4. Moldova

Ah, the Bacharach song. Geta is performing on a couch with a teddy bear and a trumpet player. The performance is competent, although I think she goes flat a bit in the end. Not bad, but I don’t know what her chances are to escape the semi-final.

5. San Marino

I forgot about this song while I was watching it.

6. Belgium

This is frigging adorable. Pitchy, but adorable. Also, the lead singer is wearing a costume made from old White Stripes backdrops. The crowd is clapping along, but I’ll be honest: a little of this song goes a long way, and it went further than that.

7. Azerbaijan

High concept: Elnur is dressed in white as an angel, and Samir is dressed in black as an evil guy, but the twist at the end is that Samir has a face turn and changes into a white outfit. This is so very silly, and so very shrill. In other words, it is everything that’s right about Eurovision and wrong about Eurovision all in one over-the-top package.

8. Slovenia

S&M! Rebeka starts off in chains, surrounded by gimps (well, just two, but they move around a lot). Then she breaks her chains and changes her costume all at the same time. This is serviceable Euro-dance-pop, competent, but hardly memorable. Still, it could go through.

9. Norway

A little tip for anyone who stages Eurovision numbers: don’t have back-up dancers who are all a foot taller than the lead singer. This is another song that has grown on me, but still, you can’t get past those lyrics: “Love can be hard sometimes/Yes, it can catch you off-guard like bad crimes.”

10. Poland

Apparently, Poland is still behind in tanning booth technology. Isis Gee is so tan she’s almost leathery. I mean, seriously, she looks like Barbie hitting middle age like a divorced Beverly Hills socialite. The song is a grand power ballad in the Celine Dion vein, and it’s not bad at all.

Cracked's Take On Eurovision 2007

2008-05-15T11:44:00.001-04:00

Since Eurovision is next week, let's kick off the celebration by looking back at last year's show: Dustin Glick and Jason Newman of Cracked review "The 10 Most Insane Moments from the European Version of 'American Idol.'" Yeah, the title is a misnomer, but the content is still pretty amusing:

Ireland came in last place in this year's Eurovision, and... well, it's pretty easy to see why. You've got a warbling lead singer who can't even sway (not to mention sing), a walking cliché of a band straight out of the Ireland pavilion at Epcot Center, and a song that's not even worthy of the end credits in Lord of the Rings.

Black Flag Members, Circa 1986: A Comparison

2008-04-13T20:13:00.007-04:00

I created this graph for the website GraphJam. Right now, you can vote to have this included on the main page of the site by clicking here, then scrolling all the way down to the bottom to find my graph. I appreciate your input.

Pop Culture Conversations: Stasi Nudie Films

2008-03-30T14:34:00.002-04:00

Chris: Did you hear the story about East Germany's porn?
Jen: East German porn? Who collects that, Eliot Spitzer?

Eurovision 2008: Final

2008-03-24T18:14:00.003-04:00

Here are the countries already in the final, in order of appearance:

2. United Kingdom: Andy Abraham - "Even If"
4. Germany: No Angels - "Disappear"
19. France: Sébastien Tellier - "Divine"
22. Spain: Rodolfo Chikilicuatre - "Baila el Chiki-chiki"
23. Serbia: Jelena Tomašević & Bora Dugić - "Oro"

The semi-finals winners will fill in the other spots, obviously. (Well, I think it's obvious, anyway.)

Eurovision 2008: Semi-Final 2

2008-03-24T14:35:00.008-04:00

Here are the countries participating in the second semi-final, in order of appearance:

Iceland: Eurobandið - "This Is My Life"
Sweden: Charlotte Perrelli - "Hero"
Turkey: Mor Ve Otesi - "Deli"
Ukraine: Ani Lorak - "Shady Lady"
Lithuania: Jeronimas Milius - "Nomads In the Night"
Albania: Olta Boka - "Zemrën Lamë Peng"
Switzerland: Paolo Meneguzzi -"Era Stupendo"
Czech Republic: Tereza Kerndlová - "Have Some Fun"
Belarus: Ruslan Alekhno - "Hasta la Vista"
Latvia: Pirates of the Sea - "Wolves of the Sea"
Croatia: Kraljevi Ulice & 75 Cents - "Romanca"
Bulgaria: Deep Zone & Balthazar - "DJ, Take Me Away"
Denmark: Simon Mathews - "All Night Long"
Georgia: Diana Gurtskaya - "Peace Will Come"
Hungary: Csézy - "Szívverés"
Malta: Morena - "Vodka"
Cyprus: Evdokia Kadi - "Femme Fatale"
FYR Macedonia: Tamara Todevska, Vrčak & Adrian Gadza - "Vo Imeto Na Ljubovta"
Portugal: Vânia Fernandes - "Senhora do Mar"

Eurovision 2008: Semi-Final 1

2008-03-24T14:06:00.017-04:00

Eurovision is doing things a little differently this year, because the number of countries participating is ever-increasing (especially since new countries keep popping up; Kosovo, we're looking at you). The organizers have divided the semi-finals into two groups. The top nine vote-getters from the two semi-finals will make the finals, along with the host country and the Big Four. In addition, a special jury will select one wild card each from the two semi-final groups.

Here are the countries participating in the first semi-final, in order of appearance:

Montenegro: Stefan Filipović - "Zauvijek volim te"
Israel: Bo'az Ma'uda - "Ke'ilo Kan"
ESTONIA!!!!!: Kreisiraadio - "Leto Svet"
Moldova: Geta Burlacu - "A Century of Love"
San Marino: Miodio - "Complice"
Belgium: Ishtar - "O Julissi Na Jalini"
Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov & Samir Javadzadeh - "Day After Day"
Slovenia: Rebeka Dremelj - "Vrag naj vzame"
Norway: Maria Haukaas Storeng - "Hold On, Be Strong"
Poland: Isis Gee - "For Life"
Ireland: Dustin the Turkey - "Irelande Douze Pointe"
Andorra: Gisela - "Casanova"
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Elvir Lakovic Laka - "Pokusaj"
Armenia: Sirusho - "Qele Qele"
The Netherlands: Hind - "Your Heart Belongs to Me"
Finland: Teräsbetoni - "Missä Miehet Ratsastaa"
Romania: Vlad Miriţă & Nico - "Pe o margine de lume"
Russia: Dima Bilan - "Believe"
Greece: Kalomira - "Secret Combination"

Sweden's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-23T11:51:00.002-04:00

It's appropriate somehow to finish our country-by-country review of this year's Eurovision entries with Sweden. Of course, it helps that Sweden was one of the last countries to decide what song to send. The song is "Hero" by 1999 Eurovision winner Charlotte Perrelli (nee Nilsson), and it doesn't sound like ABBA that much. It does sound like a generic upbeat Eurovision track, though. I don't think this is the song that's going to bring Sweden back to the winner's circle.

Montenegro's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-23T11:44:00.002-04:00

While we wait to see what kind of songs Kosovo will enter into Eurovision, let's take a look at what another former part of Serbia is doing. Montenegro is sending Justin Long-lookalike Stefan Filipović and his song "Zauvijek volim te" to its former nation-mates in May. This sounds like a song you would hear during a beach party montage scene in a Montenegrin teen comedy.

San Marino's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-23T11:39:00.001-04:00

San Marino finally enters the Eurovision Song Contest with Miodio's "Complice." Thanks for playing.

Serbia's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-10T20:06:00.003-04:00

Why mess with success, everyone in Serbia asked themselves tonight. Jelena Tomašević will represent the host country at Eurovision this year with "Oro," a ballad very much in the vein of last year's winner "Molitva." This is going for a more traditional sound, and it is quite lovely. It doesn't have the dramatic impact that "Molitva" had, though. That said Tomašević should acquit herself nicely, and I expect "Oro" to do well.

Spain's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-10T16:55:00.003-04:00

There is a fine line between clever and stupid. Dustin the Turkey's "Irelande Douze Point" is stupid. Rodolfo Chiquilicuatre's "Baila El Chiki Chiki" is... well, less stupid, I guess. It's a joke song, but it's kind of a cute joke song. Sample lyric: "Cuatro: el Robocop." Nice. Anyway, it's kind of annoying, but it lasts two minutes, so it doesn't overstay its welcome. I may find it really grating by the time we hit the Eurovision final, but for now, it's like Jesus in that it's alright by me.

Portugal's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-10T16:43:00.003-04:00

Vânia Fernandes' "Senhora do Mar" is a decent little fado number. Well, I think it's fado, since it's in a minor key and is entitled "Lady of the Sea." That sounds like fado to me. Anyway, its staging reminded me a bit of Marija Šerifović's "Molitva," with the singer standing up front and the back-up performers doing minimal choreography. Also, at one point, like in "Molitva," the back-up singers reach out and touch Fernandes. Anyway, overall, I liked it, although I fear it'll get lost in the shuffle during a semi-final featuring more bombastic entries like Ukraine, Bulgaria, Belarus and, of course, Latvia.

Belgium's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-10T16:26:00.002-04:00

Ishtar is the name of the band Belgium is sending to Belgrade. Wikipedia tells me that their traditional-sounding song, "O Julissi Na Jalini," is sung in "imaginary" lyrics. It's ridiculously adorable, although it goes on a bit at the end, even though it is only a two and a half minute song. Still, the performance was good and I love the video backing the band up, which I think was directed by Elaine May.

Armenia's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-10T16:21:00.002-04:00

Sirusho's "Qele Qele" is perfectly serviceable generic pseudo-traditional Eurovision pop. I thought it went on a bit too long, but it should do fine. I predict an eighth place finish, because Armenia always finishes eighth.

Live blogging the Russian Eurovision selection show

2008-03-09T18:27:00.014-04:00

Jen here live-blogging the Russian broadcast for their Eurovision entry. This is a must-not-miss of the qualifiers because Russia is one of the big players on the Eurovision circuit. They have the talent, the capacity, and, let’s face it, the interest to put up good songs year after year. 27 songs are vying to represent Russia in the contest this May. Hope we’re in for a good time. All times EDT.

1:53 Do I spot Evgeny Plushenko in the audience? That’s awesome.

1:57 We open with Marija Serifovic, last year’s winner, singing last year’s winning song “Moltiva.” Oh yes, we’re in for some fun tonight. We are amused by the show of solidarity with Serbia that the Russians are demonstrating by having her open the show.

2:03 01 - Assorti. God-awful Pussycat Dolls knock-off, with half the talent. Anna is a naughty librarian. I can tell because her outfit is backless. 6 women, 2 part harmony. Obviously going for 3 part harmony would be a bit complex given their “complicated” dance moves.

2:06 02 – Polina Smolova. Not bad, although I not sure the storytelling that appears to be happening in this song will play well with an audience that doesn't understand Russian. She totally dissed the dancer with the brooding Russian soul. Makes sense, she needs to focus on her career right now.

2:10 03 – Alsou Zainutdinova. Atrocious vocal. Major warble problem. The costumes and choreography are suggestive of someone who became interested in Indian culture exactly one month ago.

2:13 04 - Zhenya Otradnaya. Best vocal on the night so far, but she needs to rethink the wedding dress. And I just don’t know if “porque, porque porque. Amor, amor, amor” is going to cut it with Russian voters.

2:15 05 - Andrei Mararenko. Wall of Voodoo sings Rick Springfield. A silly song, but it amuses. “Siberia Ba-ba-beria.” The camos make them dangerous.

2:23 06 – Anna Mushak. They’re trying to force rhyme “middle” and “needle”.

2:26 07 – Nora Adam. This sounds like the Minnie Driver vocal from “Golden Eye”. “Gotta let it go.” Indeed, she gotta let her mike go.

2:29 08 – Natalia Terehova. Cute and catchy. I like this one.

2:35 09 – Evgenia Rasskazova. Why can’t they give us a medium shot of her? I’m curious if she is going to fall out of her unbuttoned wedding dress. Ev gives her mild applause.

2:41 10 – Dima Bilan. You do start to gain an appreciation when the English is good. Dima has sprouted roots from his feet planting himself into the stage, and he grows like a flower. That said, a powerful vocal and a relatively non-stupid English lyric.

2:46 11 – Elena Gorskaya. Are the backup dancers dressed like priests? Why yes, and we even get Christ imagery during the bridge. Christianity and Islam “Somewhere on the edge of the world.” Is this a statement on the Russian stance on the war on terrorism?

2:50 12 – Aleksandr Panayotov. Prop work! Big disco balls, and, wait, DIFFERENT SIZED disco balls now! “The crescent and the cross in the sky…” I see we are now entering the political section of our show with another statement on the war on terrorism. Can’t we all just be friends and love each other? Kumbaya, bitches. C’mon people, Eurovision hates politics, and this one puts the “pain” in “painfully earnest.”

2:52 C: this is what happens when you don’t make it into the Bolshoi. Dancing. Holding balls.

J: I’d put it as rhythmic gymnastics rejects.

2:56 13 – Pier Narciss and Jam Sherif. “Are we ready to rock a bit?” Well, yes. Actually, I’m ready to rock a lot. Oh, “a beat” not “a bit”. Well, yes, that too. The rough beginning is forgiven because this track has a nice groove. One guy is American and the other, French? (Actually, they're from Nigeria and Cameroon.) Possibly the only 2 black folks in Russia.

2:59 14 – Yulia Mihalchik. Has this chick been making a living playing funerals? Cuz, you know, you don’t want anything that rocks hard at a funeral.

Eurovision Lesson #1.

Eurovison likes:

* Slow songs if accompanied by a powerful vocal; or
* Upbeat songs.

This song fails because it is neither.

3:08 15 – Granat.

“The other side of midnight.

No sign of love.”

The good news is they’re trying a more sophisticated harmony than we heard in #1. Of course the bad news is they really shouldn’t be attempting it if their tuning is off.

3:11 16 – Sabrina.

“I see you, in my rear view.”

“Got a vision, it’s a premonition.”

Maybe it’s just a Russian/American culture clash, but in my world R&B does not involve the presence of an accordion.

3:14 J: This will be a test for the coveted horndog vote.

C: This one is for the old Commies seeing the permissiveness of an open society.

3:16 17 – BK. AC/DC called, they want their wardrobe back. Truly, this vocal, this song, everything, is terrible. I haven’t heard vocals this bad since Kiss.

3:19 18 – Asia. Contrary to how she describes herself (or maybe her influences, my Russian is nonexistent), I don’t hear Sarah Brightman or Mariah Carey. I hear flat.

This is really terrible. She’s sitting on her notes like someone who is trying to make a square become a trapezoid. Too bad she wasted money on collagen injections just for this broadcast. She can’t even moan in tune. Low point for vocals so far tonight, and that’s saying something, because #3 was bad.

3:28 19 – Tamila Bloggy.

C: Boy, this is… uh…

J: Boring.

C: Yeah.

Evgeny wants his haircut back.

3:32 20 – Rime Minister. Uh oh, boy band alert. Seriously, the Backstreet Boys went out of fashion after 1999. Of course, what’s worrying is this stuff has been known to make it through. It’s also kind of a catchy song. Oooo, and they close out with competent 5-part harmony.

3:36 21 – Anatoliy Aleshin. I sense earnest.

3:37 J: The long lost and estranged Olsen Brother.

C: Are you sure it’s not an Olsen father?

3:38 We’re going a little Meatloaf now, and there’s the telltale Eurovision Key Change (EKC). What’s sad is it’s not a bad Eurovision song, it’s just not executed well.

3:45 22 – Aleksei Vorobiev

“I can’t believe it’s true
I will sing for you
To find a modern sound
That we will sing aloud.”

3:46 YES!!!! KOSSACK DANCERS! On kitsch value this is unsurpassed. And the thing is it’s really catchy. The audience is getting into it too. I have to say, looking at those red costumes, I was not taking him seriously at first but well played, sir. Well played. My favorite on the night so far. This is the first song I’ve heard that felt like an affirmative “yes” as opposed to “eh, that’s not bad.”

3:49 23 – Roman Bezhin. Master class lesson for Roman: sing where you speak. I can’t understand a damn thing he says, and he is singing in English.

3:53 24 – Sergei Lazarev.

“The fly is on the move
You know I’ll get you into the groove”

Oh. The FIRE is on the move. Whatever.

Fireballs. So Wizard of Oz.

3:59 25 – Natalia Astafeva. Influences are Barbara Streisand and Bjork. I don’t see that. I see Christian Siriano. A train wreck of a song and a performance.

Eurovision Lesson #2. The problem with using a mike stand when it’s just you on stage is it creates a static visual picture and roots you to one place. Eurovision doesn’t like that.

4:03 26 – Satsura and Maks Lorens. With all these candles, is he making a ritual sacrifice? The lighting makes it look like it’s raining, in his heart, but not so much that it puts out the candles. I hear the gospel influence and the R&B pop. The harmonies are really nice and the vocals are pretty powerful. Will we get a EKC? Why yes we will! Don’t hate this one.

4:06 27 – Olga Varvus. And we close out the evening with “King of Seduction.” As if Taylor Dayne didn’t look enough like a drag queen.

J: Is the one male dancer in the back the King of Seduction?

C: Yes. I was hoping he’d wear a crown on his fedora, but it was not to be.

4:15 So now we begin voting for our favorites. It seems as though the judges have some say, and the voters have some say. I guess the judges are like superdelegates (we do have superdelegates on the mind these days). Voters are asked to call or SMS their vote, picking among all 27. That seems like a steep task, but ultimately, more “democratic” than the juried vetting, such as we saw in Britain for example.

In my opinion there are 3 contenders here (#22, #8, and #26), and 3 additional songs that didn’t suck (#10, #13, and #4).

4:22 Now we hear the Belarusian entry, Ruslan. Clearly adopting the Koldun model of touring prior to the Eurovision contest.

4:30 And now the Ukranian entry, Ani Lorak, “Shady Lady”. Goody! It’s a good song, and she can really sing. She could win this thing in May.

4:34 We review our performances one last time. And when voting, we should ask ourselves, who’s good enough to compete with the likes of the Ukranian entry?

4:43 Our voting window is now closed.

4:40 The tallies come in… (Obviously, they all received vote counts, but these are who stood out to me and I managed to write down)

#3 2 points. Ow! Is it possible to get less than 2 points?

#4 50 points. Ooooh! Wedding dress girl did good!

#7 4 points. Ow!

#10 54 points. Nice going!

#12 52 points. WTF?!?!?

#13 16 points. Ow!

#14 43 points. What?! Waaay better than she deserved.

#16 19 points. We don’t play for booze and whores around here.

#22 46 points. Good showing, but sad for what was our and the audience’s favorite.

#23 7 points. Roman did poorly.

#24 48 points. But… but… he was terrible!!!

#26 26 points. Disappointing finish.

4:53 And our winner is … #10 Dima Bilan. I can live with this. He was ok.

4:54 Ev gives him a standing O.

4:57 Wait, is this the guy who went 2 years ago? Sure looks like it. Finished 2nd behind Lordi.

4:59 And the show closes out with us hearing from our winner yet again. Nice falsetto work.

Netherlands' Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-08T10:19:00.002-05:00

Since Turkey decided to rock out this year, The Netherlands decided to enter the usual Turkish song instead. Here is Hind's "Your Heart Belongs to Me."

France's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-08T10:10:00.003-05:00

If Air sold out and hired a John Lennon impersonator, you'd get Sébastien Tellier's "Divine." There's no performance video yet, because this was an internal selection, so I have no idea how Tellier's going to do this song live, but I don't have a lot of hope. Still, it's better than Les Fatals Picards.

Germany's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-08T09:54:00.002-05:00

I am a big fan of Germany's entries to Eurovision. Stefan Raab's "Wadde Hadde Dudde Da" is classic, and the past two representatives, Texas Lightning's "No No Never" and Roger Cicero's "Frauen Regier'n die Welt" were ten tons of fun.

Side note: Because Jen and I are both standards fans, we got Cicero's album Männersachen. This is the second time we've ever gotten a full album by a Eurovision act. The first, obviously, was ABBA Gold.

Anyway, the point is, I'm big on Germany's Eurovision acts. So it pains me that I was completely non-plussed by this year's entry, No Angels with "Disappear." I know the Spice Girls reunited this year, but that doesn't mean they should be emulated. There is nothing horrible about "Disappear." It's competent from top to bottom. It's just not very interesting.

Gorau Teledu Rhaglen Bob Amser

2008-03-05T21:45:00.002-05:00

The BBC has a television show called The Big Welsh Challenge, in which British celebrities try to learn Welsh. This quite possibly could be the greatest television show ever.

Bosnia & Herzegovina's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-03T20:32:00.002-05:00

Elvir Lakovic Laka finally debuted his Eurovision song "Pokusaj" today. I really like the song, although Laka's voice is a bit nasal. But the orchestration is nice and it's got a memorable hook. The staging, on the other hand, leaves a bit to be desired. It's the Rocky Horror Farm of Whimsy. The live chicken was a nice touch, though.

Lativa's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-02T10:32:00.004-05:00

Forget what I said about "Day After Day." Pirates of the Sea's "Wolves of the Sea" is this year's "Vampires Are Alive." Wow, this is really, really, really, really, really freakin' stupid.

UPDATED: Watching this a second time, I'm surprised I didn't pick up the obvious Rednex influence on this number.

Georgia's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-02T10:17:00.002-05:00

Okay, what is up with these former Soviet republics and their thing for angel wings? First Elnur Hüseynov from Azerbaijan, and now Diana Gurtskaya from Georgia.

Anyway, there's no way this year's Georgian entry was going to be as good as last year's song, "Visionary Dream," which may be my favorite Eurovision song of all time. Seriously. "Peace Will Come" is okay, not great. It may do okay in the voting anyway.

Finland's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-02T10:08:00.002-05:00

I have a strange feeling that just as Sweden has still never really gotten over ABBA's Eurovision win, Finland is never really going to get over Lordi's win. Teräsbetoni's "Missä Miehet Ratsastaa" is generic heavy metal at its Manowar-finest. It's barely better than Kabát's "Malá Dáma."

United Kingdom's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-03-02T10:01:00.002-05:00

Let's be honest: the past couple of U.K. entries into Eurovision have really, really sucked. This year, the Brits decided to try a different tactic and enter a legitimately good song. Here is Andy Abraham's "Even If":

Schlechter Filmbericht: Showgirls

2008-02-29T20:06:00.006-05:00

And now a new, non-Eurovision feature at Lemur Love: Schlechter Filmbericht. Schlechter Filmbericht is German for Bad Film Report. Why German? As John Blutarsky would say, "Why not?"

Every now and then, we're going to print the best parts of the best reviews of the worst movies that we love the most. We will of course start with Showgirls, which was manna from the heavens for those of us who had worn through several copies of Valley of the Dolls (which we'll get to, incidentally).

We went to New York a couple of years ago to a movie theater in Chelsea to see the interactive (read: Rocky Horror-style) version of Showgirls. It was fun, although the script they gave us to play along with was kinda lame. We instead tried to shout out lines that went along with the dialog in the film, like in Rocky Horror. For example:

Jen: "Gina, did you regret doing this film?"
Gina Gershon: "Yeah, darling, I think I did."

This seemed to amuse the people in our general vicinity. Of course, we still have the goodie bags they handed out.

That's enough ado, so without further ado, here are our favorite reviews of Showgirls.

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle

"Young Nomi wants to be a Vegas show girl. She wants to come out of a volcano with no shirt on. She wants to wear glitter in her eyeshadow. And she doesn't care how. 'Showgirls,' the NC-17-rated, Paul Verhoeven-directed film about the seamy Las Vegas underworld, is about the blind ambition of an utter numbskull."

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

"The plot now develops into basic Jacqueline Susann backstage sleaze, which has a certain informational value. After Nomi is hired at the Stardust, we learn about the hazards of Vegas dancing, including monkey-doo on the stage, and the unexpected uses of ice cubes."

Rita Kempley, Washington Post

"Trollops and floozies and sluts, oh my."

Joe Bob Briggs, San Francisco Chronicle

"What movie is so sleazy that, after you see it, you have to go to a Times Square live-sex show to feel better about mankind? And what movie spent $40 million to produce live, bare-breast, Las Vegas follies shows that are actually cheesier and cheaper-looking than the real thing?"

Barbara Shulgasser, San Francisco Examiner

"Nomi, the 23-year-old with a past, has hitchhiked from somewhere back east to perform in a show where a dancer doesn't wear much more than a light coating of powder and a big, fake smile. No one is twisting Nomi's arm. No one is holding her grandmother hostage. She wants to do this. Is there anyone whose aspirations could inspire less sympathy?"

Greece's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-27T20:03:00.002-05:00

Where to start? I know: the lyrics! Here are the words to the chorus:

My secret combination
It's a mystery for you
Use your imagination
I'm not easy but I'm true
My secret combination
Boy you have to try it hard
To win a destination
In the center of my heart

Ho-lee sheet! Also, there's a great moment with the back-up singers that I won't spoil for you.

Israel's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-26T16:49:00.002-05:00

Bo'az Ma'uda is a past winner of the Israeli version of American Idol, and he's off to Belgrade to represent Israel with "Ke'ilo Kan." I liked the song and the performance, although Bo'az got a bit pitchy on the high notes near the end. This has decent odds to do well, I think.

Ukraine's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T23:30:00.003-05:00

How do you follow up on Verka Serduchka's "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" (which, I should remind you, placed second last year)? With AWESOMENESS. Ani Lorak's "Shady Lady" is by far my favorite entry so far. It is a fantastic dance song that I expect to see heavy rotation on NewNowNext Music come summer. I had been despondent about the quality of songs thus far (especially after Dustin the Turkey), but now I am so happy that I want to visit England in May so I can vote for it. I'm going to watch this video again right now.

Iceland's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T23:23:00.003-05:00

Sadly, "The Wiggle Wiggle Song" did not win the right to represent Iceland at this year's Eurovision. Fortunately, Eurobandið is pretty sweet. It is essentially a Real McCoy song without O-Jay's lame-ass rapping. Yes, it is generic Europop, but it is smooth, skillful generic Europop.

O-Jay, incidentally, performed with Ich Troje in 2006's Eurovision.

FYR Macedonia's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T23:19:00.002-05:00

"Vo Imeto Na Ljubovta," performed by Tamara Todevska, Vrčak and Adrian Gadza, is tough to get through. It has that Balkan pop thing going, but it is just so low energy that you almost want to pick up the pace by watching grass grow.

Croatia's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T23:11:00.003-05:00

There's this old guy, and I think he's going by the name 75 Cents, who is performing during Kraljevi Ulice's "Romanca" by yelling at the audience in Croatian. It's sorta like being yelled at by Jimmy Durante. If he spoke Croatian.

Bulgaria's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T23:02:00.003-05:00

Okay, I frigging love Deep Zone and Balthazar's "DJ, Take Me Away." First of all, it has all the Euro-techno pop trappings I love. Plus, it has flaming turntables. I ask you, how can you not love this?

Romania's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T22:53:00.003-05:00

You know, I didn't mind "Pe o margine de lume" when it started. Then Nico showed up and oversang the hell out of this song. I was digging Vlad Miriţă's performance, but I found Nico really shrill. Despite her histrionics, however, this is actually a subdued and classy performance. The staging of "Pe o margine de lume" is similar to Isis Gee and Poland's entry, with a pianist and three back-up performers (violinists in Poland and singers here). I don't know if it's particularly memorable, but I bet it could do well if it gets good placement in the semi-final line-up.

Poland's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T22:45:00.002-05:00

Given how disastrous last year's Polish entry was, there was nowhere for Poland to go but up. Isis Gee's "For Life" is very, very Celine Dion-y. This was effective in 1988, and I can't say it won't be two decades later. This is competent, generally well-performed, and classy all the way. I hope it doesn't follow Ireland in the semis.

Ireland's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-25T22:38:00.004-05:00

Ireland is apparently really bitter about its poor result in last year's Eurovision, and as revenge, they're sending a puppet named Dustin the Turkey to... er... sing "Irelande Douze Pointe." It gets une pointe for name-dropping Terry Wogan, but otherwise, it is more Sylvia Night than LT United.

Turkey's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-15T16:00:00.005-05:00

One of my favorite numbers from last year's Eurovision was Kenan Doğulu's "Shake It Up Shekerim" (SHAKE IT!), even if he did perform the number in a ringmaster's outfit. Well, prepare for whiplash, because Turkey has decided to do a 180 and go the grunge rock route this year with Mor Ve Otesi's "Deli":

Hungary's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-10T11:57:00.001-05:00

Once again, Ruffus is right: the 80s are coming back. Csézy's "Szívverés" is an 80s pop ballad from the top of its high notes down to the bare bones of its score. All that's missing is that really awful 80s synth. I didn't hate this, but it's soooooo of another time. Still, it sounds like Csézy is popular in Hungary, given the pop she got from the crowd.

Moldova's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-10T11:48:00.001-05:00

Moldova picked Geta Burlacu and her song "A Century of Love" for Eurovision. It's got a real Burt Bacharach feel to it, which right off the bat gives me good vibes. I'm not entirely hepped up on Geta's vocals, for reasons I can't explain. I mean, she's a good singer, but she doesn't grab my attention as much as the song does. The whole performance here is cute, right down to the woman blowing soap bubbles at the start of the song. In general, I liked this one.

Norway's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-10T11:41:00.000-05:00

Maria Haukaas Storeng will represent Norway in this year's Eurovision contest with "Hold On, Be Strong," which goes awry right away: "Love can be hard sometimes/Yes, it can catch you off-guard like bad crimes." This might be the worst Eurovision lyric ever that doesn't involve nonsense words.

Azerbaijan's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-04T00:06:00.001-05:00

Oh man. Azerbaijan voted to enter "Day After Day" in the contest this year, and it is... wow. I've watched the video three times already, and, combined with my sad state because the Pats lost the Super Bowl, my mind has been turned into a delicious pudding. Elnur Hüseynov is the main singer; he's the one with the angel wings. He is joined by Samir Javadzadeh, who looks a bit like Alan Cumming. Here is this year's "Vampires Are Alive."

NOTE: esctoday.com reports that while Azerbaijan's panel of judges has decided to send Elnur Hüseynov to Belgrade, it has not decided which song to send. However, "Day After Day" is the likely choice.

esctoday.com, incidentally, has a podcast that reviews songs from all the national contests. Your pod wants you to subscribe.

NOTE 2: Yup, "Day After Day" is Azerbaijan's entry.

Slovenia's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-03T23:58:00.000-05:00

Rebeka Dremelj will represent Slovenia in Belgrade this year with "Vrag naj vzame," which is a pretty generic Eurovision track.

Lithuania's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-02T20:13:00.001-05:00

Jeronimas Milius is heading to Belgrade with "Nomads In the Night," which I think was cut from Phantom.

Denmark's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-02T16:50:00.001-05:00

Denmark's entry for this year's Eurovision is "All Night Long" by Simon Mathews. It is ridiculously chipper, and annoyingly catchy. I didn't hate it, but I don't know how far it's going to go. It struck me as being right smack dab in the middle of the road.

ESTONIA!!!!!'s Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-02-02T16:40:00.001-05:00

ESTONIA!!!!! has decided to go with a... I guess... more amusing... uh... Eurovision song this year. Kreisiraadio's "Leto Svet" is their entry, and it reminds me a bit of Verka Serduchka's "Dancing Lasha Tumbai", only less manic and not in drag. Instead, it looks like it's performed by two men from the Estonian cast of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Only, you know, without togas. I've watched the video twice, and I guess I'm a bit befuddled.

Verdammt, wir leben noch!

2008-01-30T21:38:00.000-05:00

Falco: Verdammt, wir leben noch! is a biopic about... well... Falco. It quite possibly could be the greatest movie ever made, next to A Christmas Story.

Read a little more about it in The Onion and in Stereogum.

Czech Republic's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-28T15:55:00.001-05:00

Tereza Kerndlová's "Have Some Fun" will represent the Czech Republic in this year's Eurovision Song Contest. It is perfectly mediocre Euro-pop, but after last year's Czech entry, it is almost unquestionably brilliant. I don't know why Tereza has Landon Donovan photos on her closet door in the video, though.

Malta's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-27T19:51:00.000-05:00

Malta decided its "Maltasong for Europe" entry yesterday and it is Morena's "Vodka." I kinda like this. Or I don't hate it, I guess. It's got an annoyingly catchy hook, although it sounds like an 80s song that I can't quite place:

esctv

2008-01-23T14:30:00.000-05:00

If you are getting antsy about Eurovision like I am, then you can start catching the qualifying rounds on esctv. For example, both the Azerbaijan and ESTONIA!!!!! national selections will be shown on February 2. To watch, you'll need to download the Octoshape plug-in, but it is so worth it.

Belarus' Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-21T20:23:00.000-05:00

"As cold as Arctic ice." This is Ruslan Alekhno's "Hasta la Vista," which carries on Belarus' tradition of songs with horrid lyrics. Jen pointed out it's a three minute song that's a minute twenty too long.

Haffi Haff

2008-01-19T17:33:00.000-05:00

Haffi Haff's "The Wiggle Wiggle Song" is not the Iceland entry for Eurovision 2008 yet, but I really hope it is, for it is awesome:

Switzerland's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-19T17:26:00.000-05:00

Paolo Meneguzzi's "Era Stupendo" is indeed stupendo, in that it sounds like an Ireland entry sung in Italian. At least until the 1:25 mark, when it suddenly gets all up-tempo and the back-up dancers come out. Paolo's dreamy enough, tho.

Andorra's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-19T17:22:00.002-05:00

Here's Gisela's "Casanova" which is so ridiculously cheesy you want to serve a fine wine and snack on it while sitting on a blanket. The original video I posted here was the song set to a slideshow of pictures of Gisela. I've updated this post with the official video, which is not unlike watching the song set to a slideshow of pictures of Gisela.

Albania's Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

Olta Boka's "Zemrën Lamë Peng" will be Albania's entry. If it sounds like Eurovision, and it smells like Eurovision, sure 'nuff it's Eurovision. So very generic...

Cyprus' Eurovision 2008 Entry

2008-01-19T17:08:00.001-05:00

Oh yes, it is getting to be Eurovision time. Eurovision Blog is back, and in her first post, Caroline Westbrook has linked to Cyprus' 2008 entry, "Femme Fatale" by Evdokia Kadi:

You can track the running tally of contestants at Wikipedia's Eurovision 2008 page.

Album cover meme

2008-01-14T23:39:00.000-05:00

Karin at nirak.net posted about the album cover meme, and like her I'm doing it not because I was tagged, but because it looks like fun. Here's how to play (quoting her directly):

The first article title on the Wikipedia Random Articles page is the name of your band.
The last four words of the very last quotation on the Random Quotations page is the title of your album.
Use the random word generator to generate a word.
Use the word to search FlickrStorm (creative commons licensed photos) and the third picture will be your album cover. Or just choose any image. (MY NOTE: Karin updated this rule to use CC pix instead of just any old photo.)
Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

So, here is the album cover Sashadhar Mukherjee's When Things Go Wrong:

The random article was about Sashadhar Mukherjee.
The random quote was "The customer doesn't expect everything will go right all the time; the big test is what you do when things go wrong," by Sir Colin Marshall.
The random word was "subtlety".
The random photo is "Is a Flickr image good if its thumbnail isn't?" by Kevin Dooley.

I actually used the second photo that came up because the person who took the third photo set it so that you can't download it. I also stretched the photo out a bit so it was the same size horizontally and vertically.

The fonts, by the way, are "Chick" for the album title and "Genius of Crack" for the artist title.

----------------
Now playing: The Rumble Strips - Alarm Clock
via FoxyTunes

No Austria at Eurovision 2008

2008-01-04T22:20:00.000-05:00

It is sad news indeed that Austria will not be competing at this year's Eurovision contest in Belgrade. I think they missed their shot at winning when they didn't send DJ Ötzi:

Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats

2008-01-04T22:08:00.000-05:00

Seriously, someone needs to post the original Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats commercial Patton Oswalt is describing in this bit:

Pop Culture Conversations: Hardball

2008-01-03T21:49:00.000-05:00

While watching Hardball during the Iowa caucus coverage:

Pat Buchanan: "Hillary's got that woman thing going."
Jen: "It's called a period, Pat."

Why 2008 Could Turn Out Just Fine

2007-12-30T22:31:00.000-05:00

The new Supreme Beings of Leisure album, 11i, comes out February 11. Samples can be heard on their MySpace page.

One Last Podshuffle for 2007

2007-12-30T19:58:00.001-05:00

Because I've been feeling bad about neglecting the Lemur Love blog for so long.

By the way, I am using the FoxyTunes plug-in on my Firefox browser to provide informative links to the songs I'm writing about. Well, informative only if no Eurovision tracks come up.

1. "Dove (I'll Be Loving You)" by Moony

Pure Europop fabulousness by an Italian singer who is, if she's known in the U.S. at all, famous for singing on "Point of View" by DB Boulevard.

2. "Incredibly Drunk on Whiskey" by Memphis

Fun little loungey (loungy?) number from a side project of Torquil Campbell from Stars. One of the most chipper odes to alcohol this side of Dean Martin.

3. "She's the One" by Robbie Williams

"She's the One" is a throwaway track on I've Been Expecting You, although it could be a strong single anyway. That's how good that album is, though: every track except "Jesus In a Camper Van" could have been a hit.

4. "Mademoiselle de Paris" by Andy Williams

No relation to Robbie. Jen and I drove to Branson to see Andy Williams in concert, and it was worth it. This is from one of Andy's strongest albums, Under Paris Skies, which was arranged by Quincy Jones. Sadly, Andy's albums vary wildly in quality, although there are always at least three memorable tracks on each one.

5. "Tongue Tied" by Alison Moyet

"Tongue Tied" is a b-side to "Should I Feel That It's Over," which is amazing, since it is a powerful song on its own.

6. "When I'm Not Near the Girl I Love" by Jack Jones

Not surprising to see that FoxyTunes has no info about this number. It's a song from Finian's Rainbow, and it is the spiritual cousin to Stephen Stills' "Love the One You're With." I love Jack Jones' early work, before he went hardcore with the Vegas lounge vocal theatrics. This captures him perfectly, with a smooth swagger that fits the lyrics perfectly.

7. "Antarctica" by Men Without Hats

I've already professed my love for Men Without Hats here, but let me reiterate: I love them. Even though I have no idea what the hell this song is about.

8. "Vibrate" by Ghostland Observatory

Not one of my favorite songs off of Paparazzi Lightning, but damn it all if it doesn't mix nicely with the song that preceded it on the pod.

9. "Suburban Knights" by Hard-Fi

Ignoring the fact that songs decrying soulless suburbs number in the thousands, this is a ridiculously catchy song. Hard-Fi probably fared the best of all the bands that put out second albums this year. I read a review, probably in Q, that pointed out that this song just demands to be sung by football stadium crowds, and that reviewer is absolutely right.

10. "Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley

The more I listen to Under the Blacklight, the more I like it, which is saying something since I liked it a lot right off the bat. I have a fondness for upbeat songs with downbeat lyrics, and this is a perfect example of that.

Blake Shelton's Predictions for 2008

2007-12-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

He is a prophet and you really oughta listen.

Pop Culture Conversations: St. Stephen's Day Murders

2007-11-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

A conversation while listening to the Chieftans' "St. Stephen's Day Murders" from their Christmas album The Bells of Dublin:

Jen: "That's Elvis Costello [singing], right?"
Chris: "Yes. It might be the best thing he's ever done."
Jen: "It is. And I include Diana Krall in that."

Art Brut/1990s Concert

2007-11-21T09:26:00.000-05:00

We saw Art Brut with 1990s at the 9:30 last night. The Hold Steady were the headliner, but we didn't stay for them because we don't like their music and, also, their fans are a bunch of douches.

1990s sounded great live. They have a knack for catchy riffs, and they have a lot of energy. It felt like drummer Michael McGaughrin went off the beat occasionally, but he was singing while playing fast-paced beats, so he may just need to work on his musicianship a bit. No big deal, actually.

Their between song banter left a little bit to be desired. They would take a drink of respective beverage, then take a longish pause, then kick into the next song. That said, they handled the crowd well. At one point, guitarist Jackie McKeown noted that someone in the front row was eating french fries while watching their act. She did offer him some, though. Later, this raging douchebag Hold Steady fan in a Ned Lamont t-shirt was talking to someone on the phone. McKeown leaned in and talked to "Taylor," the person Douchie Lamont was on the horn with, and then dedicated "You're Supposed to Be My Friend" to Taylor.

Art Brut were ridiculously brilliant. First off, they're really funny. Eddie Argos' on-stage banter is hilarious, and Jasper Future (the blond guitarist in the photo) mugs in the most delightful way. Second of all, while you may be inclined to think that they're just a jokey little band, their musicianship is impeccable.

But you don't have to take our word for it. NPR recorded the concert, so you can listen to it here. Sadly, they didn't record 1990s, but if we are curious to see if The Hold Steady transcended their bad songs and douchey audience members, we have that option.

Pop Culture Conversations: The Windmills of Your Mind

2007-11-13T20:36:00.000-05:00

A conversation while listening to "The Windmills of Your Mind," the hit song from The Thomas Crown Affair, from Jack Jones Sings Michel Legrand...

Jen: What does this song have to do with The Thomas Crown Affair?
Chris: What does this song have to do with anything?
Jen: This is true.
Chris: That's the problem with French composers, though. You tell them what your movie's about and they do they opposite. "Michel, we've got this movie..."
Jen: "Stop right there!"